- Fri, 12:07: Lannisters wuz here http://t.co/eeAhdBSHo9
- Fri, 12:16: It's perfect rain outside for taking a two mile stroll. Signs my Midwesterner is hanging out. *zips up pants*
- Fri, 20:57: I love that I can lazily watch fireworks on my couch.
- Fri, 21:07: RT @adultswim: 200 years ago tonight George Washington fought the Kraken on the Potomac River and won us America #4thofJuly #truhistory
- Sat, 09:44: Great, now my brain is locked on the idea of making an aborted fetus zombie satire movie because my sense of humor is fucked up.
- Sat, 09:46: Then the iPod decided it was time to hear Putting On The Ritz and I snorted with laughter at the laundromat. This guy is single, ladies.
- Sat, 09:59: I fully endorse women using "suck my dick!" as an epithet.
- Sat, 11:56: Sir, I can see your dick in those tight shorts. You do not need that much leg room on the train.
Mon, 14:57: I'm starting to think that dogecoin is the Cutco Knives of currency. They should try throwing in a free sharpener if you buy 10 or…
Fri, 13:19: RT @ joshgondelman: This is (in my opinion) one of the most fun things @ SHODesusAndMero has ever done. Please enjoy (among other…
Thu, 15:18: RT @ OhNoSheTwitnt: “I hate looking at homeless people” they whined, as they boarded their respective diamond-encrusted private…