My tweets

Fri, 12:07: Lannisters wuz here http://t.co/eeAhdBSHo9
Fri, 12:16: It's perfect rain outside for taking a two mile stroll. Signs my Midwesterner is hanging out. *zips up pants*
Fri, 20:57: I love that I can lazily watch fireworks on my couch.
Fri, 21:07: RT @adultswim: 200 years ago tonight George Washington fought the Kraken on the Potomac River and won us America #4thofJuly #truhistory
Sat, 09:44: Great, now my brain is locked on the idea of making an aborted fetus zombie satire movie because my sense of humor is fucked up.
Sat, 09:46: Then the iPod decided it was time to hear Putting On The Ritz and I snorted with laughter at the laundromat. This guy is single, ladies.
Sat, 09:59: I fully endorse women using "suck my dick!" as an epithet.
Sat, 11:56: Sir, I can see your dick in those tight shorts. You do not need that much leg room on the train.