My tweets

Tue, 12:01: "Alec who? Baldwin? No, I won't accept a collect call from jail! That was a twitter joke Alec, we aren't actual friends you little pig.*
Tue, 12:42: Last week I wished for free cake and today it appeared. I want peace in Ukraine and a functioning light saber.
Tue, 12:58: I'm still amazed that I haven't seen anything about Jesus winning Eurovision on Twitter or FB. It's like Europe doesn't exist.
Tue, 13:28: RT @Buck65: I don't know what everyone's talking about and I don't really care. #NoFOMO P.S. - I love you.
Tue, 15:38: RT @moscaddie: important corollary to teaching girls that they can say no to dudes is teaching dudes to be way more chill when girls reject…
Tue, 15:39: Nothing more soul crushing than knowing your mom is part of the #Benghazi crowd. Err, hi mom!
Tue, 18:48: Goddamned stomach smelled burning cow flesh before I could get out of BK. Mmm, cow flesh...
Tue, 19:12: @fuck_new_jersey Why must your borough be so goddamned far from Astoria? I feel trapped in Williamsburg!
Tue, 19:46: Why does the Bedford stop crowd always fill me with rage? #AgedHipster
Tue, 23:37: The League Of Extraordinarily Hung Gentlemen #naughtycomicbooks @midnight