- Tue, 12:45: Thanks Rand Paul for letting me know that being an adulterer means you're a sexual predator. I'm only putting my dick in food from now on.
- Tue, 12:50: Related: can a rotisserie chicken give consent?#RandPaul #tcot #fingerlickinggood
- Tue, 16:17: RT @thekateblack: You deserve respect, meaningful work and an income that meets your needs. #LiberalCandyHearts
- Tue, 16:38: Holy crap, I'm off work and the sun is still out?! Must be a brain aneurysm.
- Tue, 16:42: RT @thekateblack: "I don't go down on girls." #RejectedCandyHearts
- Tue, 17:27: I need you to pay. #rejectedcandyhearts
- Tue, 17:28: I had an Italian sub for lunch *smooch* #rejectedcandyhearts
- Tue, 17:29: My night terrors are pretty mild #rejectedcandyhearts
- Tue, 17:34: Ignore my missing toe #rejectedcandyhearts
- Tue, 17:50: You're my fifth choice #rejectedcandyhearts
- Tue, 17:55: If the panties fit me in the store, I'm sure they'll fit you #rejectedcandyhearts
- Tue, 17:59: It's been 3 hours since I last barfed #rejectedcandyhearts
- Tue, 18:04: So your sister is single now? #rejectedcandyhearts
- Tue, 18:24: RT @txindyjourno: #Ohio's New #Abortion Ban Forces Women To Continue Doomed Pregnancies Against Their Doctors' Wishes http://t.co/RbWPq3SPY…
- Tue, 18:34: RT @LiberalBias: Announcing that you're Christian is courageous. Announcing that you're gay is not. http://t.co/Peq65Xi0BV #GOPLogic http:/…
- Tue, 19:05: How much does Joey Fatone owe in gambling debt that he's shilling balding haircare products?
- Tue, 20:14: Put on this unicorn mask. #rejectedcandyhearts
- Tue, 20:19: It's supposed to taste like that. #rejectedcandyhearts
- Tue, 20:27: I can provide references. #rejectedcandyhearts
- Tue, 20:29: I vote Republican. #rejectedcandyhearts
- Tue, 20:33: I am a chronic masturbator. #rejectedcandyhearts
- Tue, 20:35: Call me Uncle Joey while you choke me. #rejectedcandyhearts
- Tue, 20:40: Which eye is the lazy eye? #rejectedcandyhearts
- Tue, 20:47: I collect @joegarden pubes. #rejectedcandyhearts #candynovels #everyonelovespubes
- Wed, 10:13: Please send all flowers and edible underwear bouquets to my apt instead of my office. Thanks ladies and @colinpdempsey!