- Sat, 18:44: This happened tonight: http://t.co/la3E0zFIKN
- Sat, 19:57: "Old people smell like Auschwitz." Winning Cards Against Humanity hand. CC: @carriegravenson @katiecompa @thesuefunke @colinpdempsey
- Sat, 21:16: Welcome to your new sex nightmare. CC: @colinpdempsey http://t.co/MDuDlA37kl
- Sat, 22:11: After a hilarious night with friends, I like to ruin it by listening to Ryan Adams until I drown in my own tears. Saturday night! Yay!
- Sat, 22:39: Oh hey, it's SNL time! http://t.co/I91PbnNPfu
- Sun, 01:34: Dear brain: no one likes a Chatty Cathy at this hour. STFU please.
Fri, 16:29: RT @ allisonkilkenny: Today I learned of the term "geriatric millennial." I'm accepting flowers and cash donation condolences.…
Thu, 12:51: RT @ joshgondelman: A good thing to read! https://t.co/S8rOqudjz8 Thu, 12:52: RT @ JenKirkman: Got harassed for saying this…
Mon, 14:57: I'm starting to think that dogecoin is the Cutco Knives of currency. They should try throwing in a free sharpener if you buy 10 or…