- Tue, 12:41: Whatever shenanigans you have planned tonight, know that Ghost Toe is watching over you, especially in that low cut dress @colinpdempsey.
- Tue, 14:16: Spending my NYE like I've spent most of them as an adult: alone in a grouchy mood. Yay!
- Tue, 19:55: Takeout? Check. Lazy pajamas on? Check. Everybody Hurts on repeat until the neighbors call the cops to check on me? Check. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
- Tue, 21:32: I'm a little disappointed in the quality/quantity of drunken texts so far. Step up your game kids.
- Tue, 22:35: Who's dropping by my place in thirty to kiss at midnight? Asking for discerning hipster.
- Wed, 00:18: Happy 2014th birthday America! #winning #tcot #JesusIsTheReason
- Wed, 00:22: I don't want to alarm anyone, but we're only 82 minutes into the new year and I think I already ruined it. Sorry kids.
Thu, 10:51: RT @ itskristofer: what if god came down to earth and said “it’s pronounced jod” and left
Tue, 14:39: Some people should take drugs. Or take fewer drugs. https://t.co/BTTBfQGLw3 Wed, 11:26: This is an adult woman that…
Mon, 10:44: RT @ OhNoSheTwitnt: There have been plenty of all-male everythings throughout all of our lives and yet no one asks “are they…