Tue, 13:33: My apt is slowly starting to smell like the pumpkin pie in the oven. I know you are all jealous. I don't even eat pumpkin pie.
Tue, 15:03: "Farts taste best when held in for at least 4 days. Serve with a pinot." - @colinpdempsey
Tue, 15:31: Ted Cruz is just like regular folk: he doesn't understand how this whole Congress thing works either but likes to hear himself talk. #tcot
Tue, 16:47: The surgeon who worked on my foot looks and sounds like Wash from Firefly. I want to buy him some dinosaurs.
Tue, 16:50: RT @aasif: since 1968 more Americans have died from domestic firearms than in all the wars the U,S has been involved in. http://t.co/5xKBB5…
Wed, 08:21: After looking at my hospital bill claim w/my health insurance, I want to spit in Ted Cruz's face. Everyone needs to be insured. Period.
