- Mon, 12:44: You kids realize that you can fill your face with tacos on days other than Tuesday, right? #tcot
- Mon, 13:52: RT @Disalmanac: Eighth Amendment: Forbids cruel and unusual punishment, especially if it involves reruns of "According To Jim."
- Mon, 13:58: How dare Jesus try to provide guidance to Christians when he's secretly been a Jew this whole time!
- Mon, 15:43: How many money related boners are you allowed before you have to register as a republican? #tcot
- Mon, 16:12: Just a giant cruise ship sailing past Freedom Tower that I can see from my office. NBD. http://t.co/fFuhBxuSUH
- Mon, 23:45: No one has come up with the hair dye brand "Dorian Gray" yet? Pretty much the most obvious brand name pun. Sheesh.
- Tue, 07:37: We all agree that outie belly buttons are weird and creepy.
- Tue, 11:09: Dear Senator Grassley: thanks for wasting time and money on frivolous investigations you useless meat bag. #tcot http://t.co/I3wA87g2Cu
Mon, 14:57: I'm starting to think that dogecoin is the Cutco Knives of currency. They should try throwing in a free sharpener if you buy 10 or…
Fri, 13:19: RT @ joshgondelman: This is (in my opinion) one of the most fun things @ SHODesusAndMero has ever done. Please enjoy (among other…
Thu, 15:18: RT @ OhNoSheTwitnt: “I hate looking at homeless people” they whined, as they boarded their respective diamond-encrusted private…