- Mon, 12:44: You kids realize that you can fill your face with tacos on days other than Tuesday, right? #tcot
- Mon, 13:52: RT @Disalmanac: Eighth Amendment: Forbids cruel and unusual punishment, especially if it involves reruns of "According To Jim."
- Mon, 13:58: How dare Jesus try to provide guidance to Christians when he's secretly been a Jew this whole time!
- Mon, 15:43: How many money related boners are you allowed before you have to register as a republican? #tcot
- Mon, 16:12: Just a giant cruise ship sailing past Freedom Tower that I can see from my office. NBD. http://t.co/fFuhBxuSUH
- Mon, 23:45: No one has come up with the hair dye brand "Dorian Gray" yet? Pretty much the most obvious brand name pun. Sheesh.
- Tue, 07:37: We all agree that outie belly buttons are weird and creepy.
- Tue, 11:09: Dear Senator Grassley: thanks for wasting time and money on frivolous investigations you useless meat bag. #tcot http://t.co/I3wA87g2Cu
Thu, 04:56: RT @ powellnyt: “His face was in your windshield, Jason. Think about that,” a detective told South Dakota Attorney General Jason…
Tue, 04:38: RT @ danozzi: just to be clear: gender reveal parties have a higher body count and have done more property damage than antifa ever…
Sun, 03:41: RT @ MeanestBossEver: We need a new term for a group of crows.