- Wed, 12:25: NC GOP slips abortion law into anti-Sharia law in dead of night. Taliban surely applauds their efforts. Amurika! http://t.co/jFOYCIUS8N
- Wed, 13:47: I've preordered the new book from @Disalmanac for great justice and you should too. Also for a pie recipe. http://t.co/rce643I5SX
- Wed, 14:18: If I run around pantsless at the office and no one is here to see it, do the surveillance tapes still document my dancing?
- Wed, 20:39: Just watched a train go the wrong direction at Times Square after seeing World War Z. Prepared to cave in zombie skulls with iPad.
- Wed, 21:12: Three 5 year old girls on this crowded train are screaming at each other, unsupervised. I cannot fashion a noose from my slacks fast enough.
Fri, 12:18: RT @ MikeDrucker: By age 30 you should: 1. Take car 2. Go to mum’s 3. Kill Phil (sorry) 4. Grab Liz 5. Go to the Winchester 6. Have…
Fri, 10:25: RT @ mmpadellan: Nobody: Not a single living soul: The former guy: "I'm not into golden showers." 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Fri, 10:31: RT @…
Tue, 18:29: RT @ OhNoSheTwitnt: If Dean Cain is mad about Superman being bisexual we should probably make a gay Hercules and a trans Chachi…