- Wed, 12:25: NC GOP slips abortion law into anti-Sharia law in dead of night. Taliban surely applauds their efforts. Amurika! http://t.co/jFOYCIUS8N
- Wed, 13:47: I've preordered the new book from @Disalmanac for great justice and you should too. Also for a pie recipe. http://t.co/rce643I5SX
- Wed, 14:18: If I run around pantsless at the office and no one is here to see it, do the surveillance tapes still document my dancing?
- Wed, 20:39: Just watched a train go the wrong direction at Times Square after seeing World War Z. Prepared to cave in zombie skulls with iPad.
- Wed, 21:12: Three 5 year old girls on this crowded train are screaming at each other, unsupervised. I cannot fashion a noose from my slacks fast enough.
Wed, 16:21: RT @ carriegravenson: Today was the day Trump becomes “Florida Man”. Wed, 16:26: Bloviating pile of turds doesn't seem to…
Tue, 12:33: RT @ OhNoSheTwitnt: Congratulations to Donald Trump on staring directly at a solar eclipse and having that somehow be the least…
Tue, 05:55: RT @ OhNoSheTwitnt: Here’s hoping we never have a president who makes people talk about Trump the way Trump made people talk about…