- Mon, 12:14: Evil geniuses. Move to NYC plzkthx. "@tacojohns: Burrito meets Nachos meets Taco. Meet the Stuffed Grilled Taco! http://t.co/C8ShEj1lcU"
- Mon, 12:23: Sad news my alcoholic friends: Blarney Cove is closing down at the end of June. http://t.co/XFdMVD6ZQZ
- Mon, 13:36: RT @Disalmanac: Today is Confederate Memorial Day in Kentucky, Louisiana, and Tennessee. Everywhere else, today is You Have Got To Be Shitt…
- Mon, 15:02: I've never watched a full episode of My So Called Life and yet still manage to be a functional adult.
- Mon, 21:15: How long do I have to wear glasses before I consistently remember to take them off on my way into the shower?
- Tue, 08:50: I sure hope the big #GoT #spoiler wasn't that Ned Stark was killed.
- Tue, 09:01: #mygirlfriendnotallowedto Leave visible bruises when she kicks my ass for telling her how to live.
- Tue, 09:01: RT @GoTeamMegan: #mygirlfriendnotallowedto share her opinion. LOL! People have opinions and she's a woman and women aren't people! LOL!
Mon, 14:57: I'm starting to think that dogecoin is the Cutco Knives of currency. They should try throwing in a free sharpener if you buy 10 or…
Fri, 13:19: RT @ joshgondelman: This is (in my opinion) one of the most fun things @ SHODesusAndMero has ever done. Please enjoy (among other…
Thu, 15:18: RT @ OhNoSheTwitnt: “I hate looking at homeless people” they whined, as they boarded their respective diamond-encrusted private…