- Mon, 07:30: Nearly snorted water out my nose in the N train because of @SageFrancis and "Who Farted". Must be Monday.
- Mon, 09:26: Background checks for buying murder machines = fascist! Requiring voter ID cards to vote = totally cool and not fascist at all.
- Mon, 10:08: Dear CNN: we only need updates about OJ Simpson if he's confessed to murder or has a new sitcom on NBC.
Mon, 14:57: I'm starting to think that dogecoin is the Cutco Knives of currency. They should try throwing in a free sharpener if you buy 10 or…
Fri, 13:19: RT @ joshgondelman: This is (in my opinion) one of the most fun things @ SHODesusAndMero has ever done. Please enjoy (among other…
Thu, 15:18: RT @ OhNoSheTwitnt: “I hate looking at homeless people” they whined, as they boarded their respective diamond-encrusted private…