- Sun, 17:02: I will never be able to close my eyes again. #nightmareonelmstreet #shudderisland http://t.co/G9ypTJoPGP
- Sun, 17:21: Salted caramel milkshake for Easter?! Mmm! http://t.co/cXN1Qe4SPw
- Sun, 17:59: JESUS DIED FOR THIS! http://t.co/HOf0Qaf7qJ
- Sun, 18:06: Oh tiny tiny shake. You're going straight to my ass. http://t.co/5jlTJpqaBc
- Sun, 20:26: Thank goodness Taylor Swift never wrote a song about those two weeks we spent together in June of 74.
- Mon, 07:47: If it turns out that my first day of work is an elaborate April Fool's joke, I may hulk out.
- Mon, 08:43: RT @KatraHigher: Today my childhood dreams are saying, April Fools! Nothing came true and this is your life! #aprilfools
- Mon, 08:44: Update: Job is real, Steve Jobs was not.
Mon, 14:57: I'm starting to think that dogecoin is the Cutco Knives of currency. They should try throwing in a free sharpener if you buy 10 or…
Fri, 13:19: RT @ joshgondelman: This is (in my opinion) one of the most fun things @ SHODesusAndMero has ever done. Please enjoy (among other…
Thu, 15:18: RT @ OhNoSheTwitnt: “I hate looking at homeless people” they whined, as they boarded their respective diamond-encrusted private…