- Sat, 15:56: People are bad mouthing Bob Costas in anticipation of him pointing out that drunk driving is dumb. Behave & no one'll have to tell you how.
- Sat, 18:42: Triple fisting wedding reception. http://t.co/vMCW8D8q
- Sat, 21:46: The view from table two. TABLE TWO RULEZZZ!!! http://t.co/Rj317Ysp
- Sat, 22:57: There will be no proof of my hipster suit from tonight. It was a mirage.
- Sun, 00:15: Number Alcohol Poisoning for this evening. http://t.co/Tme1FI08
- Sun, 01:58: I hope that no ladies cried tonight because they didn't get to see my awesome robot boxers. Next weekend, perhaps.
Tue, 04:38: RT @ danozzi: just to be clear: gender reveal parties have a higher body count and have done more property damage than antifa ever…
Sun, 03:41: RT @ MeanestBossEver: We need a new term for a group of crows.
Sat, 08:37: RT @ ditzkoff: if you click the skip intro button on The Muppet Show, your subscription should be instantly canceled…