- Sat, 15:56: People are bad mouthing Bob Costas in anticipation of him pointing out that drunk driving is dumb. Behave & no one'll have to tell you how.
- Sat, 18:42: Triple fisting wedding reception. http://t.co/vMCW8D8q
- Sat, 21:46: The view from table two. TABLE TWO RULEZZZ!!! http://t.co/Rj317Ysp
- Sat, 22:57: There will be no proof of my hipster suit from tonight. It was a mirage.
- Sun, 00:15: Number Alcohol Poisoning for this evening. http://t.co/Tme1FI08
- Sun, 01:58: I hope that no ladies cried tonight because they didn't get to see my awesome robot boxers. Next weekend, perhaps.
Thu, 15:18: RT @ OhNoSheTwitnt: “I hate looking at homeless people” they whined, as they boarded their respective diamond-encrusted private…
Wed, 13:02: RT @ hellolanemoore: I just want you to know that because of how supportive you've all been so far, i've started emailing…
Mon, 18:21: RT @ MikeDrucker: I guess the only microchip Bill Gates couldn’t plant… was love https://t.co/9RGNwtqoxv