- Tue, 12:33: Anti-Obama AZ woman runs over husband for not voting. Seriously. He didn't even win in AZ. Good grief. http://t.co/W6Tkj9uD
- Tue, 12:45: Dear @PaulRyanVP - Americans know that "urban voters" means "non-white voters". You lost because we're smarter than you give us credit.
- Tue, 13:31: RT @MuchCoffee: Petraeus and Dr Zaius have merged in my head. When I hear about the FBI scandal I start humming the Simpsons Planet of t ...
- Tue, 13:31: Dear @PaulRyanVP - Did someone neglect to inform you that "urban voters" get a full vote and not just 3/5 of a vote? Oops!
- Tue, 13:39: A petition to secede has been circulating within my bowels for a few days. Damnable weekend nachos.
- Tue, 14:32: RT @katlamcglynn: Joe Biden made a cameo on Carmen Sandiego. It's like he KNEW what the internet would love in 20 years http://t.co/LeBPm5ii
- Tue, 15:52: When I looked up and realized it was night, I started to worry that I'd blacked out. Thank goodness, it's not even 5 pm. Ugh.
- Tue, 16:25: Apparently the only way to get UPS to show up is to put on "Tired Of Waiting For You" by The Kinks. Then they show up, interrupt the song.
- Wed, 09:22: RT @pete_wells: I have a few questions for Guy Fieri about his Times Square restaurant: http://t.co/TH2rRPSO
- Wed, 09:55: .@Tammy4Congress Thanks for the follow and congratulations on your win in Illinois!
Mon, 14:57: I'm starting to think that dogecoin is the Cutco Knives of currency. They should try throwing in a free sharpener if you buy 10 or…
Fri, 13:19: RT @ joshgondelman: This is (in my opinion) one of the most fun things @ SHODesusAndMero has ever done. Please enjoy (among other…
Thu, 15:18: RT @ OhNoSheTwitnt: “I hate looking at homeless people” they whined, as they boarded their respective diamond-encrusted private…