Thu, 18:52: RT @LOLGOP: You're not allowed to run on your record! -- the guy who deleted all of his records and never mentions that he was Governor ...
Thu, 19:53: Kerry is delivering some great zingers but the Rocky IV joke has been my favorite so far. #DNC
Thu, 22:02: RT @mikedicenzo: "You did this, America! It was you all along! There was no magic in those shoes!" - Obama
Thu, 22:04: If you believe that dragons were real and that Jesus rode a velociraptor, this may not be the candidate for you. #DNC#POTUS
Thu, 22:05: Oh crap! #POTUS totally forgot to say spoiler alert before revealing that Walter White gets killed in the end! #DNC
Thu, 22:07: The #DNC drops paper confetti instead of balloons because they hate the balloon industry. - @PaulRyanVP
Thu, 22:10: RT @MikeDrucker: How amazing would it be if President Obama turned around and said, "One more thing" and then revealed the iPhone 5? #DNC
Thu, 22:11: For his encore, POTUS is going to do a 20 minute cover of Stairway with Willies Nelson and Clinton. #DNC
Thu, 22:22: As we all heckle, Joe Biden is climbing into a 67 Dodge Dart with his hot wife. You are all jealous. #DNC#JoeBidenFanClub
Thu, 22:25: RT @RubinReport: After Romney's speech the discussion was maybe he was slightly more human. After Obama the country is smoking a shared ...
Thu, 22:26: My 4000th tweet was about Joe Biden getting laid. That's it, I can't do any better. I'm quitting Twitter.
Thu, 22:37: Theme of the #RNC: "Remember when life used to be good but really wasn't? Back when women made pies? That was bitchin'!"
Thu, 22:37: Theme of the #DNC: "Yeah, some stuff still sucks. But it's not going to get better without peace love and understanding. DOOBIE TIME!"
Thu, 22:47: RT @GhostPanther: Barack and Michelle should get a sitter and spend the night at the Doubletree for room service and Prometheus on PPV. ...
Thu, 23:15: RT @curlycomedy: Simultaneous airing of #VMA and #DNC was not a mistake like placing a separate kiddy table at Thanksgiving is not a mis ...
Fri, 05:01: RT @MrEmilyHeller: This Poehler/Arnett split is going to put a lot of pressure on Beyonce and Jay-Z to make me believe love is real
Fri, 08:49: Hurricane Leslie Goshko continues to spin until she's dizzy, will eventually collapse when no one is looking. #FF @ohmygoshko
Fri, 09:43: WTF Arizona? Why is this judge chastising the victim of a sexual assault? Can we sell your state to Mexico? http://t.co/2yysTCXV
Fri, 10:50: Watching people trip over curbs while they talk on their cell phone will never get old. Thank goodness I moved to the right town for that.
