My tweets

Thu, 15:41: Can someone explain to me how it is that UN troops are supposed to start marching in the US? I don't understand crazy. http://t.co/0EVcIKwO
Thu, 15:55: RT @ChrisRRegan: Why have I never seen this photo until today. http://t.co/Yjb9E96q
Thu, 18:08: A cautionary tale of garbage babies. http://t.co/R91xla5c
Fri, 09:55: RT @MattBinder: Has the NRA tweeted about it being a beautiful day for a visit to the Empire State Building yet?
Fri, 09:57: Remember, guns don't kill people but they make it really fucking easy for someone mentally unstable to kill people. The more you know.
Fri, 09:58: RT @TheOnion: Nation Celebrates Full Week Without Deadly Mass Shooting | UPDATE: Never Mind http://t.co/nXJiNgmN
Fri, 10:38: RT @FrescoJesus: MY FACE!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY FACE!!!!!!
Fri, 10:59: Do you think I might have a drinking problem? #ThingsComicsSayToEachOther
Fri, 11:01: <insert a bunch of comedy nerd crap here that normal people don't care about> #ThingsComicsSayToEachOther
Fri, 11:07: #FF @GoTeamMegan if you want to laugh about how office life is horrible. Unless you work with her, then you might realize she hates you.

Fri, 11:08: #FF @HotChicksRoom to find out what hilarious stuff is happening there. Just don't check in on Foursquare and steal my mayorship.
Fri, 11:18: #FF @carriegravenson because she thinks it's a compliment to suggest people suffer from anal leakage when you're near.
Fri, 11:19: #FF @SharonSpell because she backs up @carriegravenson on that anal leakage business. Wait, are these people actually my friends? Hmmmmmmmm.
Fri, 11:20: #FF @colinpdempsey because he's from Ireland and we're trying to convince him that Twitter followers mean something in the United States.
Fri, 11:22: #FF @SaraJBenincasa because she's just downright awesome and you need more of that on your feed.
Fri, 11:48: #FF @fuck_new_jersey because she's willing to take her hatred of NJ to the point of using it as her handle. Also funny.
Fri, 11:51: If you suffer from this affliction, DM me your digits, dinner availability. Thx. "RT @carriegravenson: @djmrcurmudgeon Seanarrhea is real!"