- Fri, 19:34: I would #ff some of you people but it'd just end up being a bunch of amazing people you already follow. So #ff @arbys because.
- Fri, 22:38: RT @AnthonyDeVito: I am a stargate connecting this world with an all-sweat dimension.
- Sat, 00:28: Goodnight moon, goodnight stars. Goodnight air. Goodnight sex noises coming from next door.
- Sat, 04:18: Uhhhh, what the what is going on? http://t.co/9zzYM12W
- Sat, 04:27: There are 4 fire trucks outside but 0 fires. Are they here to start a fire? So confused.
- Sat, 04:33: A small platoon of firefighters came out of a house across the street but no hose or axes. What the h is going on?
- Sat, 04:34: ...and now they're all gone as though they were never here. So weird.
- Sat, 05:16: Oh good, I didn't manage to get back to sleep before THE SUN happened. Frownville.
Fri, 16:29: RT @ allisonkilkenny: Today I learned of the term "geriatric millennial." I'm accepting flowers and cash donation condolences.…
Thu, 12:51: RT @ joshgondelman: A good thing to read! https://t.co/S8rOqudjz8 Thu, 12:52: RT @ JenKirkman: Got harassed for saying this…
Mon, 14:57: I'm starting to think that dogecoin is the Cutco Knives of currency. They should try throwing in a free sharpener if you buy 10 or…