My tweets

Mon, 13:39: Breaking news! Jerk thinks he's funny, posts stupid things to Twitter and no one cares! More as the situation develops!
Mon, 17:44: I got bored and left the house. http://t.co/H0pxiTn7
Mon, 18:08: For my sister... http://t.co/6fO4WWoa
Tue, 03:27: Caught a cab to LGA from Calvin Cato's double. Even sounded like him. Weird start to the day.
Tue, 04:18: The Onion left this as a tip at LGA on Foursquare: http://t.co/b199gt7O
Tue, 04:26: Gah! The sun came back! When will we finally be free from its fiery gaze?!
Tue, 07:03: RT @BorowitzReport: The people who demanded to see Obama's birth certificate don't seem the slightest bit interested in seeing Romney's ...
Tue, 07:26: Egg sandwich farts and inconsiderate elbows on a flight should qualify you as an enemy combatant. #helpfulflighttips
Tue, 07:27: RT @megsokay: Who wants to be a girl next door when you can be the grown ass woman who leaves the house and has adventures?
Tue, 07:29: Is the universe rewarding me w/a row to myself after an hour of egg farts on the last flight? Oh, but I'm sitting in front of a baby.

Tue, 07:34: Door still open, seat still empty, baby now screaming. Is this what Stockholm Sydrome feels like?
Tue, 07:35: Door closes, seat empty, baby wailing, phone off now.
Tue, 11:58: My 4 year old niece is obsessed with that Gotye video. Hipsterdom is genetic.