- Sat, 14:20: Action items for today: snorrrrrrrrrrrrrre
- Sat, 17:17: Clearly global warming isn't a real thing. It's not warming up out there, it's steadily god awfully disgustingly hot.
- Sat, 19:26: RT @RubinReport: They're recalling Chris Christie? RT @BreakingNews FDA recalling more than 300,000 pounds of meat prepared in NJ factory.
- Sat, 20:31: A strange girl grabbed my hips as I weaved through the crowd, whispering to me "I'm just along for the ride daddy." We escaped, parted ways.
- Sat, 20:53: Dear CBS: your Sherlock show can't possibly be half as good as BBC's Sherlock. Why try?
- Sun, 01:32: Introducing @carriegravenson to the mouth orgasm that is pizza skins from Unos is enough for me to consider today successful.
- Sun, 11:22: RT @rstevens: Who's eating pancakes right now? Turn down your thoughts. I just taste-hallucinated them.
Thu, 12:16: RT @ GailSimone: I don't think you can be a true Star Wars fan if you don't know who Revan is. https://t.co/gq2AISD33K Thu,…
Thu, 09:15: RT @ TheDailyShow: “We’re not dealing with bad apples, we’re dealing with a rotten tree.” Trevor addresses Daunte Wright, Caron…
Wed, 08:38: RT @ ParkerMolloy: I make fun of certain Times columnists for writing variations of the same article over and over, but this is a…