- Sat, 14:20: Action items for today: snorrrrrrrrrrrrrre
- Sat, 17:17: Clearly global warming isn't a real thing. It's not warming up out there, it's steadily god awfully disgustingly hot.
- Sat, 19:26: RT @RubinReport: They're recalling Chris Christie? RT @BreakingNews FDA recalling more than 300,000 pounds of meat prepared in NJ factory.
- Sat, 20:31: A strange girl grabbed my hips as I weaved through the crowd, whispering to me "I'm just along for the ride daddy." We escaped, parted ways.
- Sat, 20:53: Dear CBS: your Sherlock show can't possibly be half as good as BBC's Sherlock. Why try?
- Sun, 01:32: Introducing @carriegravenson to the mouth orgasm that is pizza skins from Unos is enough for me to consider today successful.
- Sun, 11:22: RT @rstevens: Who's eating pancakes right now? Turn down your thoughts. I just taste-hallucinated them.