- Wed, 14:26: @KatrinHier If only the internet had never been built, you might have been well-adjusted and misinformed about Earth!
- Wed, 16:12: @TheKatBurdick While I haven't shed all of the weight I want to, the only chub that wobbles isn't the chub we're measuring.
- Wed, 17:32: My new weightloss plan simply involves riding crowded train cars until I've sweated enough that I can empty out a car. #sogross #hatesummer
- Wed, 19:17: Kansas REALLY likes making me hate them. If you support hate legislation, please punch yourself in the face repeatedly. http://t.co/mW1vV3vf
- Thu, 07:33: The polar bears I am descended from were not designed for this summer weather bullshit.
- Thu, 07:41: Not even sundresses can make this heat bearable. Almost. Almost.
- Thu, 09:16: RT @BillCorbett: Let's have a hearty round of applause for @joegarden, who is retiring as features editor of The Onion after a long, bri ...
- Thu, 10:37: Living alone means never using an ice cream scoop or a bowl unless you're trying to impress the neighborhood peeping tom.
Fri, 12:18: RT @ MikeDrucker: By age 30 you should: 1. Take car 2. Go to mum’s 3. Kill Phil (sorry) 4. Grab Liz 5. Go to the Winchester 6. Have…
Fri, 10:25: RT @ mmpadellan: Nobody: Not a single living soul: The former guy: "I'm not into golden showers." 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Fri, 10:31: RT @…
Tue, 18:29: RT @ OhNoSheTwitnt: If Dean Cain is mad about Superman being bisexual we should probably make a gay Hercules and a trans Chachi…