- Mon, 16:31: Her: Well we were trying to figure out what a baby would cost so - Me: Uh, I'm pretty sure you can make those for free. #stillsingleladies
- Mon, 18:47: Sad news trolls, Mr. Trololo died. His amazing song will live on in our farts. Err, hearts. http://t.co/n3kfaFZ2
- Mon, 19:08: OKCupid's app insists on telling me when girls w/names like "WASHBOARDABSONLY86" are nearby. Is this a new weightloss feature they've added?
- Mon, 19:24: If you need me, I'll be drinking vanilla vodka and watching this for the next ten hours: http://t.co/sqcCrJJR
- Mon, 19:58: The worst part about cutting your own hair is you only have one person to blame if it sucks: the manufacturer of your hair clippers.
- Mon, 20:59: "Taste the Place" sounds like the slogan for Skittles flavored panties, not pizza/mexican food. http://t.co/loD0mB4n
- Mon, 21:05: I heart NYC. The green snot comet is a nice touch. http://t.co/5XOkWsTp
- Tue, 08:58: Alert! There's a peeper in Astoria! http://t.co/NMa1JGzP
Mon, 14:57: I'm starting to think that dogecoin is the Cutco Knives of currency. They should try throwing in a free sharpener if you buy 10 or…
Fri, 13:19: RT @ joshgondelman: This is (in my opinion) one of the most fun things @ SHODesusAndMero has ever done. Please enjoy (among other…
Thu, 15:18: RT @ OhNoSheTwitnt: “I hate looking at homeless people” they whined, as they boarded their respective diamond-encrusted private…