- Сб, 20:03: Dear people in parkas: I'm sweating just from looking at you. It is not that cold yet you freaks. Sincerely, a hairy Midwesterner.
- Сб, 21:11: So, uh, this was a thing that Barbara Walters did one time. Why people debate the existence of God still, I don't know. http://t.co/7AIREvi9
- Сб, 22:22: Oh good, the fan on my laptop is trying to die. Good thing I know how to combine the internet, my credit card and a screwdriver. Ugh.
- Вс, 06:34: Dear sun: I am trying to sleep. Go away. Die in a fire or something. #sleepythoughts #itcouldhappenifthesunwentsupernova #stupidhashtags
Fri, 16:29: RT @ allisonkilkenny: Today I learned of the term "geriatric millennial." I'm accepting flowers and cash donation condolences.…
Thu, 12:51: RT @ joshgondelman: A good thing to read! https://t.co/S8rOqudjz8 Thu, 12:52: RT @ JenKirkman: Got harassed for saying this…
Mon, 14:57: I'm starting to think that dogecoin is the Cutco Knives of currency. They should try throwing in a free sharpener if you buy 10 or…