- Thu, 12:46: There isn't enough time in my day/life to find a lady in time to not be single on my bday. QUIT ASKING PEOPLE WHO WANT ME TO BE HAPPY.
- Thu, 12:56: Obama turns 50 today despite intense opposition from the Tea Party who demand proof he was born today and not three weeks ago.
- Thu, 17:04: Why can't this awesome shirt be available in my size? http://t.co/BvjcNDw via @threadless
- Fri, 01:38: Sleeping for an hour only to be awoken by mayhem outside and then being unable to get back to sleep? Super unfair. #firstworldproblems
Fri, 13:19: RT @ joshgondelman: This is (in my opinion) one of the most fun things @ SHODesusAndMero has ever done. Please enjoy (among other…
Thu, 15:18: RT @ OhNoSheTwitnt: “I hate looking at homeless people” they whined, as they boarded their respective diamond-encrusted private…
Wed, 13:02: RT @ hellolanemoore: I just want you to know that because of how supportive you've all been so far, i've started emailing…