- Wed, 21:33: It's @garry2rs on Shrink! http://t.co/fpzUXy5
- Wed, 22:39: Another successful night of Shrink. You'd think @MamaSpell and I were professionals now.
- Wed, 23:18: When OKCupid suggests you date someone that you know, don't excitedly tell them that it thinks you should bone. #themoreyouknow
- Wed, 23:35: I'm safe now that I've escaped the cab that smelled of baby powder. I was worried he wanted to wear my fat skin as a suit. #lotionontheskin.
- Wed, 23:58: Someone please book this guy for every special occasion ever forever and ever. http://t.co/gp68v5G
- Thu, 10:41: On my way to Time Warner to swap out a modem. Let's hope this works.
- Thu, 10:47: Holy bat guano, they finally turned the signs on at my stop! It's only been two years that they've been here. http://t.co/CG1yzMi
Tue, 04:38: RT @ danozzi: just to be clear: gender reveal parties have a higher body count and have done more property damage than antifa ever…
Sun, 03:41: RT @ MeanestBossEver: We need a new term for a group of crows.
Sat, 08:37: RT @ ditzkoff: if you click the skip intro button on The Muppet Show, your subscription should be instantly canceled…