- Wed, 21:33: It's @garry2rs on Shrink! http://t.co/fpzUXy5
- Wed, 22:39: Another successful night of Shrink. You'd think @MamaSpell and I were professionals now.
- Wed, 23:18: When OKCupid suggests you date someone that you know, don't excitedly tell them that it thinks you should bone. #themoreyouknow
- Wed, 23:35: I'm safe now that I've escaped the cab that smelled of baby powder. I was worried he wanted to wear my fat skin as a suit. #lotionontheskin.
- Wed, 23:58: Someone please book this guy for every special occasion ever forever and ever. http://t.co/gp68v5G
- Thu, 10:41: On my way to Time Warner to swap out a modem. Let's hope this works.
- Thu, 10:47: Holy bat guano, they finally turned the signs on at my stop! It's only been two years that they've been here. http://t.co/CG1yzMi
Mon, 14:57: I'm starting to think that dogecoin is the Cutco Knives of currency. They should try throwing in a free sharpener if you buy 10 or…
Fri, 13:19: RT @ joshgondelman: This is (in my opinion) one of the most fun things @ SHODesusAndMero has ever done. Please enjoy (among other…
Thu, 15:18: RT @ OhNoSheTwitnt: “I hate looking at homeless people” they whined, as they boarded their respective diamond-encrusted private…