- Mon, 17:29: Man, where's all the single ladies that want to make out at the movies tonight? You gots mah number. #desperatetactics #valentinesschmuck
- Mon, 19:35: RT @STACEYNIGHTMARE: Chlamydia is not a flower so I also brought you chocolate.
- Mon, 19:44: Valentine's Day for single folk involves hiding the whiskey or the cell phone full of numbers for exes. #drunktextersunite
- Mon, 20:25: iPod: quit playing love songs about regret while I do laundry, it's ruining this ep of The Bachelor. #classicdatenight #cleanclothesaresexy
- Mon, 20:32: Nevermind, the kids playing tag around my dryer ruined the dryer sheet huffing party I was having alone. #laundrysniffing #dontbegrossperv
Fri, 12:18: RT @ MikeDrucker: By age 30 you should: 1. Take car 2. Go to mum’s 3. Kill Phil (sorry) 4. Grab Liz 5. Go to the Winchester 6. Have…
Fri, 10:25: RT @ mmpadellan: Nobody: Not a single living soul: The former guy: "I'm not into golden showers." 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Fri, 10:31: RT @…
Tue, 18:29: RT @ OhNoSheTwitnt: If Dean Cain is mad about Superman being bisexual we should probably make a gay Hercules and a trans Chachi…