- Mon, 17:29: Man, where's all the single ladies that want to make out at the movies tonight? You gots mah number. #desperatetactics #valentinesschmuck
- Mon, 19:35: RT @STACEYNIGHTMARE: Chlamydia is not a flower so I also brought you chocolate.
- Mon, 19:44: Valentine's Day for single folk involves hiding the whiskey or the cell phone full of numbers for exes. #drunktextersunite
- Mon, 20:25: iPod: quit playing love songs about regret while I do laundry, it's ruining this ep of The Bachelor. #classicdatenight #cleanclothesaresexy
- Mon, 20:32: Nevermind, the kids playing tag around my dryer ruined the dryer sheet huffing party I was having alone. #laundrysniffing #dontbegrossperv
Sun, 18:52: RT @ JasonKander: My liberal friends and I talk mostly about sports. Pete, your “real American” friends sound lame. Mon,…
Sat, 04:17: RT @ smartstatistic: I would love to have been unburdened with issues of race as an 8 year old but I was too busy having white kids…
Thu, 04:56: RT @ powellnyt: “His face was in your windshield, Jason. Think about that,” a detective told South Dakota Attorney General Jason…