- Mon, 12:01: RT @JamesUrbaniak The Quaids adding the World Cup Octopus to their list of assassinated celebrity friends.
- Mon, 12:25: Fire alarm, false alarm. Got me out of what was becoming a painful session.
- Mon, 17:05: RT @drewtoothpaste: All my Midwest people throw your hands up! Say it with me! "Is that the siren? Let's eat dinner in the basement."
- Tue, 09:53: @batemanimation Do we need to stage a Shrink in your hospital room or will laughing potentially kill you?
- Tue, 10:16: @batemanimation I don't need comedy street cred so bad that I'd kill. Also, the other half is gone on biz. You're off the hook. Get healthy!
- Tue, 10:20: Sitting in a hotel lounge, UB40 on their satellite radio and Aliens on their tv whilst people are discussing non-profit fundraising tools.
Fri, 16:29: RT @ allisonkilkenny: Today I learned of the term "geriatric millennial." I'm accepting flowers and cash donation condolences.…
Thu, 12:51: RT @ joshgondelman: A good thing to read! https://t.co/S8rOqudjz8 Thu, 12:52: RT @ JenKirkman: Got harassed for saying this…
Mon, 14:57: I'm starting to think that dogecoin is the Cutco Knives of currency. They should try throwing in a free sharpener if you buy 10 or…