Sean (darksoul) wrote,
Sean
darksoul

  • Music:

What is it inside our heads that makes us do the opposite of what's right for us?

things rarely go as planned
like people, life is imperfect
sometimes you have to accept
that life is the way it is

Changes are being made. Life has remained static and stale for far too long.

Step one: the hunt for a new job. I've got an application in for a job that I have an above average chance of getting. If that falls through, I've got a back up plan or two. Hopefully it doesn't.

Step two: getting out of this town. There is talk of a potential move to NYC, depending on some other matters. At the very least, I need out of this house and away from the life I've been living.

Step three: embracing productive hobbies. I've been spending time with my record player lately, teaching myself how to scratch using random crappy albums that I don't mind potentially ruining. The motor on it crapped out, so it's only really suitable for scratching. At the same time, I've been playing with some random audio freeware. This may not end up going anywhere, but I'm enjoying myself. The photography bug still has me as well, but I haven't been doing a good job of embracing it. I'd thought about going out today to shoot random things around the city, but it was rainy/snowing all day, so I opted for being lazy.

Step four: letting go. There are people in my life that I wish things could be different with. Many an evening has spent contemplating calling up a few of them and trying to mend things, but I don't have faith in such things panning out. There are people from whom I need some form of closure, but I can't even begin to tell you what form that would take. In the end, I need to learn to just let go and move on with both situations. A person can only carry so much weight from day to day before it ends up crushing them.

I'm sure there'll be other steps I need to take along the way, but this is a start.
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