Why are you run by jerks who never work at the box office? I just want to buy tickets to Scribble Jam, is that so much to ask? I realize that you might think that the demand for said show isn't large enough to provide me with info about the show, but you're wrong. My interest should be enough. Dicks. Answer your phone or return my phone call based on the message I left you. Don't ignore me or I'll only get madder. Jerks.
Someone who has already poured enough ticket sales/booze money into your establishment this year as it is
Nevermind. Apparently tickets went on sale today. :) I'm all good to go.