Sean (darksoul) wrote,
Sean
darksoul

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Realization brought on by an even longer batch of rambling...

It's funny, so little of what happened between us made it's way onto paper, at least for me. It's been that way with everyone I've dated. Jen and I dated for 3 1/2 years but because I didn't write about much of it, so much of that time has been lost in the wind. There are days when I can't even remember Makeout Girl's name. Bobbi and I didn't have much more than phone conversation between us. Who even remembers Missy? If you threw out your journals, deleted your LJ, what would you recall of your past? Of love and pain? If you were to look back on your life and try to figure out what events have made you who you are today, could you remember all of them clearly without refering to that stack of history? I've been slowly coming to the realization that who I am now is not the result of all of that mess. Who I am now is a result of who I want to be and who I allow myself to be. I don't have to be this nervous and shy worm that I let myself be. It's rarely too late to change your mind about life. Will I take this to heart and begin making real changes in my life? *shrugs* Only time will tell.
Tags: female problems
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