I hate the Badger Badger thing, but I find amusement in this one. Ah well.
These days I'm merely a zombie passing between jobs and nightly naps. Occasionally there are evenings where I feign having some sort of a life, but mostly I'm just going through the motions. Last night I went out with some of the younger folk. It was an entertaining evening, but I felt rather out of place for most of the evening. Don't get me wrong, I had fun and I thank those that I was with for inviting me out. I think I was just feeling out of my depth.
As a child, the only thing that would consistently leave me feeling safe and at peace was floating on my back in a pool. Minutes passed this way felt like hours, hours like seconds, seconds like...you get the idea. These days I'd give anything to find an empty pool someplace that I can just lay in for hours on end. Just for an hour. Just for a moment.
I fear that the hole is permanent.