Sean (darksoul) wrote,
Sean
darksoul

  • Music:

My best friends are ghosts in the machine and the spirits found in music.

No one takes me seriously. It's my own fault. Too many years of being a smart ass around a lot of people have made it impossible for anything I say to be taken at face value.

Several people have showed an interest in my plans for this evening (either because they were being polite or because they wanted to hang out). I've been telling everyone that I'm going to be beat once I leave Job Two and will probably just head home for a shower and some sleep. The truth of the matter is that I'd really like to be with people right now, but I'm not in a socially acceptable mode currently. My schedule is being highly filtered currently in an attempt to only expose myself to the sorts of social situations that I feel comfortable with right now. If I could better define that for you, I would. As it is, I'm playing the whole thing by ear. It's a talent I've developed over the years. If the situation doesn't fit my current emotional and intellectual needs/schema, then I've probably found some polite way out of it. I feel bad about it because I hate being the sort of person who pulls that crap with their friends. It's not anything personal. Under normal circumstances (if such a thing exists), I'd be more than happy to hang out. Right now I'm just...I don't know, angsty? Emoriffic? Who knows.

In other news, I'm getting into the groove of training at the new job. The people I'm training with are all pretty cool and it's kinda cool having Dave as a mini-boss. Next week we fight King Hippo. I've got to remember to punch him in the band-aid. Yay Corporate Shilldom!

Sometimes I wonder if I suffer from schizophrenia. Then I tell me to shut up and finish my dinner.
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