This old guy may be on to something. He's in a poor enough condition that even if they did put him in a regular prison, no one would probably mess with him. In prison, he gets everything an old guy would need and doesn't have to pay for it like he does in a nursing home. He's got it even better since they'll be putting him into a hospital instead of a prison.
Do you have a rudimentary knowledge of audio/video equipment and a supply of midget donkey porn? Then I might have a job for you. Though I think it'd be much better to do this to films rented primarily by 12 to 15 year old girls, lonely single 22 to 45 year old women, and lengthy anime movies that might put you to sleep if you watched them at a late hour. I can picture it now. The mom comes in to turn the tv off when they see our midget friends at work... "TOMMY!!! WHY ARE YOU WATCHING MIDGETS HAVE SEX WITH DONKEYS?!?!" "I swear mom, I was just watching my Yugioh video that we rented!" Tommy's life will never be the same. Ahh, the evil.
Speaking of porn, apparently someone was using the Spirit lander's hard drive to back up their Jenna Jameson collection. Maybe it's a peace offering to the Martians. I like that end line though. "We have lots and lots of files on Spirit." d00d, really? I hadn't gathered that after reading that it's dead because of an overload of files.