I am Jack's boiling, unbridled frustration and anger
Among my many film ideas, I have a plot to make a movie that features the 25 minute, 14 second long track "What Would You Have Me Do?" from Local H's Here Comes The Zoo album. I imagine that the song will be playing in the background during a very long car chase in which our "hero" has brief flashbacks to things from earlier in the film that have led him to the car chase. What I envision is a thriller type of movie where a guy accidently crosses a mafioso (overdone, sure, but that doesn't mean it couldn't be quality). Our "hero" is never really aware of who is after him, he's merely aware that he's been narrowly escaping death more often than could be coincidental. Through out the film, the mobster only mentions that the "hero" stole something of his that he had no right to steal. During the car chase, about 7 minutes into the song, the flashbacks will begin (at that point in the song, samples of the other songs from the album begin to be introduced). Around the 9 minute mark he'll reach the home of his girlfriend, only to find the mobster's goons waiting for him. Punches and kicks should correspond to the music (if you've heard the song, you'd know what I'm talking about). It's about the 12:50 mark that someone mentions that the girlfriend wasn't there. The goons carry the body out to the trunk of their car, dump it in the river at the 14:00 minute mark, at which point we do an underwater shot of the body slowly sinking to the riverbed. At the 14:50 mark, the song nearly fades out except for the very faint sound of someone playing caribbean music on a steel drum off in the distance and an occasional cop siren. During this time, we see the mafioso having lunch with the girlfriend of our "hero". It turns out they were dating when she decided to leave him for our "hero". The viewer is left feeling somewhat confused as to why she seems so jovial and happy to be in this position. They wander off, go to his yacht, climb down into the cabin for some fun. The mafioso turns his back to mix them some drinks when, at the 24:30 mark there's a gunshot (we don't hear the gunshot though, there is a loud guitar riff here that makes me jump everytime, even when I expect it). The girl then drops the gun and we hear her walk away, the camera focusing on the surprised look on the mafioso's face. The End. Of course, I could find a number of other ways to incorporate it into a film, but I like this idea. :)
There's something strange about feeling your pulse in your temple. If you try to ignore it, it has the potential to turn into a throbbing migraine. If you focus on it, it just seems to beat louder and louder within your skull until all you seem to be able to hear is the pounding bass in your head.
Words. Cannot. Describe. This. Moment. In. Time. My only solace is that in 28 hours, 30 minutes, I shall be on my way out of town for a day of rest before returning to a life of stress and frustration. The time spent away will not be nearly enough. I've no clue when I'll have another opportunity to destress either. The amazing thing is that, while I may come across as angsty or frustrated here in my journal, I still maintain the capacity to be perfectly chipper and cheerful in conversation and in person. My body language gives away my actual feelings at the moment, but you'd never know unless you know how to read my body language well. I am Jack's seething rage hidden behind cold blue eyes.