Sean (darksoul) wrote,

  • Music:

now i'm falling in love too fast, with you or the songs you chose

So. Bloody. Tired. It's my own fault, of course, but I'm still going to whine. Stayed home last night due to lack of vehicle. No one wanted to play bingo with my mom, so she stole the car to go play alone. I hit Blockbuster on the way home to pick up a few things to entertain myself for the evening.

It's official. I'm finally going to boycott Blockbuster in favor of Netflix. It's bad enough that they never have any movies in that I'm looking for in particular. Now they've even taken to outright refusing to take my money. Last summer they did this Game Pass thing where you paid them $20 and you could keep 2 games for as long as you wanted, up to a month. I thought this was a damn cool offer because I always end up getting about 3/4 of the way through a game before I have to take it back. They've brought back the deal this summer, but in such a way that pisses me off. First off, you can only get one game at a time. I can live with that, I guess. It's annoying, but it gives me incentive to beat that one game so I can go get another. Except that they won't let me sign up for it. Apparently it's a renewable membership-thingy this year rather than last year's "pay for a month at a time" deal. The only way they'll let you sign up for this offer is if you've got a credit card. WOuldn't be a big deal normally, since I've got a check card that's covered by Visa so if I overspend what's in my account, Visa covers the rest and I pay them out the ass for it. I've never had to use this handy feature of my check card, but I'm told it works. Except that Blockbuster doesn't care about this. They're afraid my account won't have the measely $20 in it when they come around at the end of the month to rebill me for my Game Pass. Instead, I've got to pay the $6.50 for a game I'm not terribly sure I'll like for a measely $5. *shoots self in face* And so, I'm just going to give up on console games unless they're something I can buy for cheap and I'm going to start renting my films from Netflix. Screw you Blockbuster. :P

Anyway, enough bitterness about that. I stayed up until some ungodly hour watching movies and playing a lame FPS for the PS2. This morning I had to run to my dad's at 8:30 am to take him to Crown Center to pick up a rental car. I'd complain, but he loaned me Windows 98 so I can get Jen's old computer running again. He's heading down to Fort Worth for some training and decided that if he was going to make that long haul, he was going to drive in style. Convertible Mustang, 6 cd-changer, sweet speaker system. My brother and I were disturbed riding in a car without a top. Man was not meant to be able to look skyward while driving. He hitched us a ride back to our car (on the other side of Crown Center) and we headed home, where I proceeded to nap until 2ish. Dropped by Bob's, couldn't get his burner working (Iomega is the devil), dropped by the office to chat with the boss about some things, then cruised home.

This evening (or what's left of it) appears to be proceeding in a similar fashion to last night, except that I have the car and am still spenind it lounging around at home. Considered dragging the little brother to the movies, but I'm feeling lethargic. I think I might just go to bed shortly. My body kinda wants to catch up on all that sleep I've skipped over the past few weeks...
me: loneliness is such a strange emotion.
self: not that i don't agree, but why do you think it's all that strange?
me: who is more lonely, the man who has no one or the man who has someone but they remain out of reach?
self: who longs for love more, one who doesn't know it but wants to feel it or one who has it but is parted from it? apples and oranges my friend, that's what you're comparing.
me: i know, the two are longing for different things. i'd feel guilty being the latter.
self: why?
me: finding happiness in another person is a matter of coincidence and luck, more often than not. i'd feel as though i was obligated to be grateful for that opportunity, even if i were to lose that person or be parted from them.
self: *nods* i can understand that sentiment. sounds as though you're maturing into a fine young man.
me: nah. i'm just realizing that my fortune in life is better than some and that i should accept that good fortune when it comes about. being angsty and mopey when things aren't going my way won't do anything to solve the situation, it just annoys those close to me.
self: i doubt it annoys them. they are your closest friends, after all. besides, you can't lie to me. i know that, deep down, you just hate being angsty. you'd rather be happy, even if that happiness is not complete.
me: *nods* if i can't have a happy life, at least a simple one then. nothing's simpler than just letting your negative emotions wash away.
Tags: me/self

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