me: i always am, you self-righteous bastard. you should know that by now.
self: what about that time you decided to go ahead and go to college when you already had the job you were getting that degree for? you didn't have the money to go to school, you had no business going.
me: shut up, that wasn't entirely my fault.
self: what, you're going to blame society for forcing you to go because everyone has to go to college to succeed? that's crap and you know it.
me: who just brought you the key piece of info that we needed to move forward? who just solved our biggest internal problem? ME baby, ME! remember that.
self: pfft, a fart would've taken more effort than you exerted. at least it would've been entertaining. what you did was find out that what i told you all along was the truth. how does that make you the winner here? you proved me right, by all rights i'm the winner and you're the weiner.
me: your sophistication astounds me.
self: hey, i have an idea. why don't we quit babbling to ourselves? it's unbecoming of an adult to behave this way.
me: how about you shove it up your nose. :P