Sean (darksoul) wrote,

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Christmas. What a fake holiday. What is Christmas supposed to be? According to everyone I've asked, it's a celebration of Jesus's birthday. Well, sorry, that can't be it, cause his birthday was actually in February. Beyond which, anyone who has done a little bit of research into other religions will notice how, ironically, it's a holiday in the pagan world. So why do we celebrate Christ's birth on Dec. 25th? So the christians could repress the pagan holiday by changing it into their own. But what does any of this matter? The only reason most people celebrate christmas is to trade gifts. rather than spending all that money you would normally spend on yourself, you try to feel good by spending it on someone else, only to have them buy for you what you would have bought for yourself anyway. That is unless you did buy it for yourself anyway. I hate christmas. I love giving gifts, I love getting gifts, but I hate how hypocritical we all are on christmas.

So what got me going on this rant? I had to spend yesterday evening at my grandmother's for christmas. I didn't have to, but I felt obligated. I almost got in a fight with my father (the dirty piece of crap stoner loser who has no friends, no family that cares, and has no reason to live now except for his job, his drugs, and to harass his family cause he's driven everyone away because he's an ass) in front of the family. I stopped myself, but it was so tempting. I'd made some snide comment about not having a kid for quite a long time. He laughed and said I'd have one coming along anytime now, not to think I wouldn't be having one. It aggravated me a lot. Let me explain: I am a bastard child, a boy born of unwed parents who were forced to marry to take care of me. I wasn't wanted. I wasn't expected. And my father has taken that out on me my whole life. So hearing him tell me, in not so many words, that I was no better than he, it really pissed me off. My father who has never cared a bit about how I lived my life before should not think he can make a commentary about my sex life, especially when he doesn't know a thing about me, my life, or what is happening with me. Two words sum up what how I felt: fuck off. I need to tell him that one day. That I don't want him in my life, so just fuck off. I doubt he'll grasp that I want him to be gone, and I doubt I'll ever have the opportunity, but that's what I'd like him to know. C'est la vie...

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