...i think my overwhelming problem right now is that i'm bored with life. even though i enjoy my job and i like where i work, it's monotonous and draining. school is so far away financially that it'll be years before i can manage to crawl back into that world. livejournal is one of my few creative outlets right now, but i'm running low on things to express in this medium. what's left of my creative drive, i either don't feel comfortable sharing with the general populace at this time or i don't feel could be properly expressed in word. i still want that guitar. i want to make music. i want to create something more complex than one more waste of livejournal server space. i'd like to start shooting all the short films that Dan and i have talked about. i'd like to learn how to spin. i want to learn how to love again. i want to believe that there's something more to my life than working and paying the bills. i want want want. i'd like like like. but where do i find the means to finally "do"? *sighs* welcome to lower-middle/upper-lower class america kids. why couldn't i have been born in Cuba and gotten a free college education?