April 11th, 2005


Realization brought on by an even longer batch of rambling...

It's funny, so little of what happened between us made it's way onto paper, at least for me. It's been that way with everyone I've dated. Jen and I dated for 3 1/2 years but because I didn't write about much of it, so much of that time has been lost in the wind. There are days when I can't even remember Makeout Girl's name. Bobbi and I didn't have much more than phone conversation between us. Who even remembers Missy? If you threw out your journals, deleted your LJ, what would you recall of your past? Of love and pain? If you were to look back on your life and try to figure out what events have made you who you are today, could you remember all of them clearly without refering to that stack of history? I've been slowly coming to the realization that who I am now is not the result of all of that mess. Who I am now is a result of who I want to be and who I allow myself to be. I don't have to be this nervous and shy worm that I let myself be. It's rarely too late to change your mind about life. Will I take this to heart and begin making real changes in my life? *shrugs* Only time will tell.
  • Current Music
    Pink Floyd - The Fletcher Memorial Home
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If you didn't care what happened to me
And I didn't care for you
We would zigzag away
Through the boredom and pain
Occasionally glancing up through the rain
Wondering which of the other's to blame
And watching the pigs on the wing...

It's been a Pink Floyd discography kind of day. Why? Hell if I know. I haven't even touched the usual classics (The Wall, Dark Side Of The Moon, Wish You Were Here), sticking to the lesser known albums (The Final Cut, Animals, Relics, Saucerful Of Secrets, Ummagumma). Every now and then I need a recharge to get it out of my system.

You know that I care what happens to you
And I know that you care for me too
So I don't feel alone
Or the weight of the stone
Now that I've found somewhere safe to bury my bone
And any fool knows a dog needs a home
A shelter from pigs on the wing...
  • Current Music
    Pink Floyd - Sheep