I've been living a lie for so long that I don't know if who I am is the lie or if it's who I think I might be. In order to keep from betraying myself, I become someone else, behaving erratically to keep from revealing what is probably abundantly clear. It's all a joke. Maybe one day I'll feel comfortable in my own skin again. Maybe one day I'll settle down in the now instead of pre-occupying myself with every other timeline, past and future. Honor be damned. I'm tired of pushing away anyone who could possibly get close to me.