January 26th, 2004

Red Eye Army Corporal Jesse

Sometimes I'm simply a raving loon

I'm only real online. In real life, I'm the star of a reality tv show about a homicidal schizophrenic trying to fit in amongst regular people without his secret getting out to the world.
  • Current Music
    Marilyn Manson - Para-noir

I'm on my way down now, I'd like to take you with me...

It's a good day when searching news.google for the word "pope" brings up crazy stuff like the pope watching someone breakdance. I can only imagine John Paul jamming out to some phat beats while kids breakdance at his feet. Truly this is a sign of the coming apocolypse. If you can find me some video, you'll be my hero. CNN offers it, but I'm not paying them for content.

This old guy may be on to something. He's in a poor enough condition that even if they did put him in a regular prison, no one would probably mess with him. In prison, he gets everything an old guy would need and doesn't have to pay for it like he does in a nursing home. He's got it even better since they'll be putting him into a hospital instead of a prison.

Do you have a rudimentary knowledge of audio/video equipment and a supply of midget donkey porn? Then I might have a job for you. Though I think it'd be much better to do this to films rented primarily by 12 to 15 year old girls, lonely single 22 to 45 year old women, and lengthy anime movies that might put you to sleep if you watched them at a late hour. I can picture it now. The mom comes in to turn the tv off when they see our midget friends at work... "TOMMY!!! WHY ARE YOU WATCHING MIDGETS HAVE SEX WITH DONKEYS?!?!" "I swear mom, I was just watching my Yugioh video that we rented!" Tommy's life will never be the same. Ahh, the evil.

Speaking of porn, apparently someone was using the Spirit lander's hard drive to back up their Jenna Jameson collection. Maybe it's a peace offering to the Martians. I like that end line though. "We have lots and lots of files on Spirit." d00d, really? I hadn't gathered that after reading that it's dead because of an overload of files.
  • Current Music
    Eve 6 - Without You Here