December 24th, 2003

Plain old Zod...

We never change, do we?

The day in review: Picked up by Dan, dinner at Don Chilitos, Bubba Ho-Tep with Dan, Chrissy and her boi, meandering out to Barnes & Noble, wandering around Olathe, drifting into Lawrence, Java Break for some hot shocko-latte and chai for Dan (with some mild flirting with the cute girl behind the counter), walking through downtown Lawrence at 12:30 am, going back to Java Break to flirt a little more and get more drinks, 3 good games of chess, a farewell flirt, back to the car, back to KC, and then home at about 4:10 am. Good times, good times. Tomorrow I work on cleaning my room and wrapping all my gifts. If that all gets done, I might even venture an attempt at reorganizing my cds. It's more likely, though, that I'll get caught up playing Mario Kart on the Gamecube. Que sera sera.

At one point, Dan and I were cruising down Santa Fe somewhere between Olathe and Eudora when we decided to pull over and get out to look at the sky. Wow. Numerous people have heard me complain about the evil civilization glow that radiates from this city, but it's been so long since I last left it on a clear night that I'd forgotten how beautiful the night sky can be. Out beyond the fringe of civilization lies a field full of brilliant points of light. The occasional fuzzy tailed rabbit zips across the sky, disappearing almost as quickly as it appeared. Satellites and planets show up amongst their distant cousins. Even a heretic like myself can find God's fingerprints lingering amongst the distant stardust. There may be pain, misery, unrest and melancholy back here in the city, but out there at night, all things fade into darkness, only to be consumed by the light of thousands of distant stars. Limited inner peace is only a lengthy drive away from anything remotely civilized.
  • Current Music
    Counting Crows - She Don't Want Nobody Near (New Recording)
into this night i wander

I grieve in my condition for I cannot find the words to say...

Word choice is something of a hobby of mine. Certain words, while synonymous with one another, have slightly different connotations to them. Trail off into oblivion and people will make countless assumptions as to what you meant. A mouthy wordsmith, I am. And yet.

My client window has been open all day. All day, I've sat down to write something but nothing has come out. I can't express what I need to. Or at least I can't express it in a fashion that leaves me feeling dignified. *shrugs* I'm full of holiday cheer. I'm lonely and melancholy. There are few people that I could spend time with right now, and fewer things that could be done to bring me to shore. I've got my music and I've got my books. I've got habits that I hide and hope that's nearly died. I've got the number of a girl that I couldn't stand but these days I could try. Things are different these days.

What value do we place on a human life? What value do we place on our friends and family? What value do we place on love? Why do we gamble it all away?

Can you spare a dime? I need a down payment on some hope.
  • Current Music
    Lapdog - I Think About