|eventually the words fade away, leaving you alone with a thumping beat in your head...
||[Jul. 16th, 2003|05:37 pm]
|[||Somedays I feel a little:
|[||Your mom ain't listening to
|||||Namelessnumberheadman - I Know How You Got Old||]|
Blah. I don't feel like spending the evening at home not doing anything. I hate being too broke to get my ghetto car fixed. I hate having to share a car, making it impossible to just leave for a few hours and find some random place to sit and think. There's just something about my house that makes it difficult to really relax. It's not so bad when I've got company over, but there's this oppressive weight in the air when it's just me and the family. I wonder when my mom's car is going to be fixed...
Somewhere beyond the horizon, a storm was brewing. He'd felt it coming for days now, a growing darkness somewhere just out of reach, slowly growing in size, preparing to rain down upon this town. The feeling had started out as this vague sense of things being out of place. Every time he tried to focus on it to figure out what it was, the feeling slipped from his grasp. Now that sense of violent emptiness was there, just beyond the periphery. A chill crawled his spine, even though it was the height of the sweltering summer. Whatever was to come in the passing days would not be pleasant.
digging in my breast pocket
a string, some lint, a ticket stub
could you cover me?
the price of love just gets steeper
trusting and rusting and rushing and
why don't you just hush now
hate sounding cold, but the angst is old
just because you don't have someone to hold
doesn't mean you've got to force us to suffer
stop your bitching and whining and moaning
it's time to wake up & realize what you've got ain't half bad
self: i'm sorry man.
me: don't be, i'm not.
self: but what about-
me: don't worry about it. it was good while it lasted. i'm just glad to come out of it with a good friend still.
self: you aren't upset then?
me: i won't lie and say i'm not disappointed. like i said all along, the timing was wrong. i've accepted that. there's no point being depressed and angsty over something i've known all along.
self: what happened to me being the logical and intellectual one here?
me: *shrugs* maybe you've rubbed off on me a bit too much. maybe i've rubbed off on you a bit too much.
self: was i asleep for that? i wondered why my-
me: shut up. there was no need for that.
self: *grin* you're doing fine kid.