June 29th, 2003

into this night i wander

random thoughts that don't necessarily connect to one another

sometimes the strangest things will solidify your confidence in yourself.

the quest for internal peace sometimes takes a leap of faith/stupidity. sometimes the most absurd actions will work out to your advantage and bring resolution to a situation that had no possibility for resolution.

my music collection is seriously lacking happy shiny music. i need to pick up some Reel Big Fish, Good Charlotte, The Toadies, amongst other things. my life needs a cheerful soundtrack right now. this realization was made last night while driving through north kc with my brother. we had the windows down and were blaring his Reel Big Fish cd out into the wide world for everyone to appreciate. it occured to me that i own too much Stabbing Westward and not enough happy ska/punk/whatever. am i selling out or growing up? still, i love me some "Grumpy Song" from Buck 65. :)

i'm going with the flow from now on. every time i stand against the current, i just get knocked down eventually. the physical drain on my muscles from resisting the current isn't worth preventing myself from possibly getting pricked by some nettles further down stream. i can easily avoid them by looking downstream and swimming out of the way in time.

when cryptic comments become zen comments, you've either come out the other side or you're in need of psychological counseling. then again, i've been my own counsel for years and it doesn't seem to have screwed me up too much. at least i realize what my problems are, even if others don't.

i'm glad you're happy. i wish you weren't so afraid to share with me about your happiness. of course, this is a lesson we both need to learn. with time, i'm sure it will come about. i just thought you should know that i'm happy for you though and i wish you both the best of luck. no hard feelings at all. i left those behind long ago.

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this, too, shall pass. perhaps one of the most sage things ever said. four little words to depress a happy man and invigorate the miserable. remember them well, for life is guided by that principle.
  • Current Music
    Counting Crows - Four White Stallions (cover)