There are days where my soul longs to just wander off and not come back. Hop in the car, top it off with gas, drive east until desire is overcome by sleep. No destination in particular, just an open road ahead of me and a forgotten past behind me. Jen was telling me the other day about how she finally got her pass to fly on Delta for free (her former-step-father is a flight attendant for them, one of the perks are passes for you and your loved ones to fly with them [on standby I believe] for free). It got me to thinking how much I'd enjoy just hopping on a flight and travelling halfway around the world, just to visit some foreign airport (meaning other than Kansas City International here, not specifically an airport in a foreign nation) for a few hours and then turning back. Seattle saturday, Orlando sunday, London the following weekend, Toronto next month. There's a concert going on in New York that you just can't pass up? Let's go! What brought this on? Too many years of being the same consistent person to everyone? Perhaps it's just that time in my life? Maybe my body is just pushing me to find somewhere, someone, something to settle for, if only for a short time. Drown in chaos to bring order to your life. Too bad chaotic indulgence is ineffectual for one who can't stop analyzing the world around him. That's not entirely true, the constant thinking brain does have an off button. It's called being happy and content. Oops, wasn't that what I was going to dive into chaos in search of? Joseph Heller would chuckle if he cared.
Tonight is still up in the air. I thought about going to Kat's concert, but I don't think it'll be as engaging as my mind needs today. This is why I'm not going to get my drink on at XO with everyone (assuming they are getting their drink on tonight). Part of me wants valuable worthwhile company that'll keep my brain running along, part of me just wants to curl up with a pile of Cusack flicks, part of me says I should throw myself into the grand CD Organization/Digitization project, part of me just wants to hop in the car and drive. We'll see what happens. In any case, the cell phone is on, as always.
don't worry about me.
i'll be fine.