||[Dec. 21st, 2002|12:57 am]
off from work for the christmas holiday. i think that god/allah/buddha/hobo jim really intended for the week of christmas to be a giant paid holiday for anyone over the age of 20. it's a pity more companies don't realize that. if you need to contact me by email, i probably won't get your email. AOL doesn't like Hotmail for some reason. just shoot me mail at revfajita[at]hotmail.com instead.
this weeks plans include vegging out and working on my memoirs. work on them keeps stalling out. it's hard to write a story where you end up playing the tragic hero on many occasions if you don't like playing the tragic hero. i keep wanting to rewrite entire sections until it makes me look like less of a mess than i am portraying myself as. i'm in no state to be writing about the past anyway. too sentimental, too cynical, too lonely, too anti-social. too moody.
i've been seeing a lot of people that i recognize from days long past. two nights ago i saw a pair of twins that i went to middle school with. anytime i see people that i once knew who don't recognize me or don't say anything, i feel like some sort of ghost, as if i don't really exist in that exact moment in time and i'm just spying upon the scene. i rarely say hello to people i recognize unless they're someone who was important to me. if they say hello to me, that's fine, i don't get annoyed by it, but i don't make a point of greeting and chatting with people i've vaguely known. call me eccentric. this happens a lot during the holiday season. during the summer, i don't spend enough time in public places to see people who've come home from school. with christmas, not only are they home but they're also out shopping in full force for the holiday. a part of me hopes that i run into a number of people who i've had a sentimental need to catch up with. probably my brain telling me i need to connect with random people on an emotional level more often than i do. *shrugs* i'll just acknowledge it as a need to connect with someone.