October 22nd, 2002


would you tell me one thing you remember about me...

sometimes, late at night, when i'm driving home from someplace, i'll drive through the old neighborhood for no good reason. it's probably a sign i'm getting old, but there are some people from my past that i'd like to go out to dinner with and catch up on life with. it's an unnatural compulsion i developed some time in the last 6 months. it's not even old friends that i want to catch up with, though some of them were good friends. i'd like to catch up with Jody Morton and apologize to her for being a creepy kid with a crush on her early on in high school. i'd like to find out whatever happened to Jessica Guinn. i wonder what Chris Franz is up to and if his art career has gotten off the ground. whatever happened to Moose? did Mason and his gf have their baby? what became of Marlo and Bronwyn? does Jessica even remember me, even though i was only an 8th grader and she was a senior who was taking Spanish 1? how is Mr. Whipple doing? i shouldn't be wondering these things for several years, and then it should be about my close friends, not about all those people who touched my life in some minor fashion. makes me feel out of touch with reality at times...

(no subject)

worst staff retreat ever. now i know why we have these things once a year: so we remember why we hate having giant bonding sessions. i think we bonded more at the end when everyone started complaining about our speakers for the day. the 2nd (and final) speaker for the day was a high school principal who also does motivational seminars for corporations. this guy made me want to die. his ideas of how self-actualization and self-awareness work made me fear for the future because he seemed to believe in some sort of utopian ideal that everyone can overcome any obstacle no matter how large. what about someone who is having to pay off their debt but wants to go back to school now? how about a person whose got 3 kids to raise but wants to move out of the inner city? utopian ideals of empowerment don't provide you with the skills needed to rise above your situation. if you're unable to afford the education you need to get those skills, then empowerment is again wasted. blah. he was unrealistic about how the world works and made me worry that he was filling those who aren't too much younger than i with retarded ideas. thankfully those who might amount to something are cynical enough to see through it. blah.