the rumors of my death were greatly exaggerated...
i'll do a regular update post in a bit about my weekend and last night's trip to the comedy club, but first, a little business. thank you to those who posted comments of concern yesterday to my post, however your concern was misplaced. my belief that i'm a horrible person doesn't mean that i don't also think i have the capacity for greatness as well. every person has some duality to their being. however, i felt the need to admit that i have the capacity to be a terrible beast as much as i can be a loving friend. recognizing that i have that within me and embracing it as all that i am are two different things. in any case, it was a side issue that had come up out of the context of the ideas that preceded it. i'm not understood by anyone and to everyone i portray something a little different. i guess i'm just tired of being something in other people's eyes that i'm not. *chuckles* i long for the impossible, someone who understands who i am, someone who can rip my life apart at the seams without breaking a sweat, who knows my deep dark fears and secrets without my needing to tell them outright. i demand completeness from another human being because i don't feel complete alone and i can only know completeness when they understand me as well as i understand myself. i'm far too needy in that respect.
