||[Apr. 30th, 2001|10:02 pm]
*can't help but shake his head at all the damage done in the time that he stopped caring*|
this post goes out to all those people IRL who i stopped worrying about for too long whose lives, whether or not i could have made an impression on them by actually being there or having cared more about, who have screwed up, done stupid things, broken things that were once beautiful and lovely, wonderous and grand, or simple and peaceful; it goes out to those whom i wish i'd been more attentive to, that i'd made more of an effort to spend time with whom i might have helped along the right path, or at least nudged them in the direction of it.
i'm sorry i seemed like i stopped caring. i'm sorry i disappeared. i'm sorry things have spiralled down into the pits that they are. i wish i might have tried to help. i wish i'd been there to try and help in your times of need or even as a distraction. i felt ignored, and when i didn't feel ignored, i felt hated, or worse yet, an annoyance. i watched as so much happened to destroy the lives of so many good people, and yet stood off in the shadows. my presence may have made a difference, but i doubt it. but the chance for me to have made that difference is lost, and by this i am saddened. so to you all who i may have left behind or have faded away from, i just want to let you know that i'm sorry, and that i still find compassion for you within my heart. may you all find a little peace of mind someday. until then, i'm here, you know, should you need me...
we now return you to your regularly scheduled program...